paisley-rose asked: :(

what

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I need some people to text on a regular basis.. someone who understands my sense of humor aka tumblr humor so what better place to find more new friends  ?!?

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pills are my best friends tonight. I feel like I’m always playing “how far can I push away the people who love me” game.. I figured I would have learned after losing Amanda, who was the most important and influential person in my life, but I guess not. Then I intentionally push away the next two most important people in mine and nicks life and now I’m doing it again. Why am I such a fuck up and why am I so afraid of things being normal? Maybe because drama was my normal for so long? Always having to defend yourself gets tiring. I feel like I exhaust myself of trying to do everything right that it actually is all wrong. Now I am just blabbing and making you confused I’m sure.
I’m so fucking stupid. Why can’t I just be normal?

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you